i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
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I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize