i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
