my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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