Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
