I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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