shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
