She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
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