This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
