He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
His hands were made for my vagina.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
