so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
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