just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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