I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
