Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
