we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
