I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
