im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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