Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
