Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
