could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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