if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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