and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
