I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize