you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
