just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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