It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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