I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
