If i come over, it means nothing
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
