Do you still have your period?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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