Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
