Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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