This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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