yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
