I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
