I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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