I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
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karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
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Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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