yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
