This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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