so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize