holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Alive.
So much puke
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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