he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
