he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
