Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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