Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just found puke in my bra..
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
