So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
