She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
