She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
