In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
