The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
