Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
