"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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