come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
