i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Your dad touched me again.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
