Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
either way he was missing a nipple.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
