it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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