And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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