If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
