I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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