Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
