how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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