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Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
